Nothing Else Matters...

                In a few weeks I’ll reach a milestone that in today’s fast food society is reached less and less.  On August 21^st my wife and I will celebrate 20 YEARS of marriage!!!!!  Holy cow.  There are several thoughts that pop into my mind.  First, there is no way I’m that old! Second, there is no way my wife is that old!!!    The time has flown by.  It’s had its ups and downs and everything in between.  We’ve cried, we’ve hurt but most of all we’ve laughed and we’ve grown together.

                Nearly twenty years ago I’d just barely graduated.  I was a skinny geek who had no idea what he wanted or where he wanted to go.  I met a fine young woman who had come to visit with another friend.  I was hobbled by a soccer injury.  She gave me the total and complete cold shoulder and I was hooked!!  The rest is history, a year and a half later we got married and we’ve been making happy memories ever since.  In 1993 Monday night football was still on network TV.  Chipper Jones was a rookie on the Braves, Hoffman was a rookie on the Marlins, Raul Mondesi a rookie on the Dodgers, and Brad Ausmus was a rookie catcher for the Padres .  Toronto beat the Phillies in the World Series, Dallas won the super bowl, and Chicago won the NBA championships.  (So I’m a little sports centric…I can guarantee she just smiled at the Ausmus reference!)  There was really no internet and cell phones were still brick sized.  I drove a really sweet Mercury Cougar (which died and led to an even cooler Yamaha Scooter) and life was just getting started. 

Too often we get caught in this negative loop in life.  We see the bad, the poor, the ugly but seldom do we stop and see the good.  But you know what as I lean back and gaze back over the landscape our 20 years has created I’m pretty happy.  I see mostly good times, a life built and a family created.   We’ve done a pretty darn good job.  We’ve learned to communicate, to express how we feel to each other and how to sacrifice for each other.  We’ve grown up together.  Most of all though, after 20 years we are still very much in love with each other.

                I have had successes in life and I have had failures.  I’ve been up and I’ve been down.  I’ve had far too many jobs and even more hobbies I’ve attempted to pursue.  In the end my wife has always held me up and been my rock.  A lot of people don’t see that part of our relationship but I’m here to tell you that without Kelly I would not be the happy, fairly balanced family man I am today.  She has, over the years, supported all the cooky little things I’ve done, let me vent when I needed to, put up with all of my undiagnosed personality defects and in the end what more can a man ask for from his wife?  She’ll watch baseball, football, and even tolerates a bit of the Tour de France as well as a soccer game or two.  She’s the perfect wife. 

                Nothing I do is ever as good as it is when my wife is with me.  As much as I love riding my bike, if I couldn’t share my adventures with her (even though she’s bored to tears as I describe my latest ‘cool’ ride stats)the rides just wouldn’t be as cool afterwards.  Without her I’d never be able to see a doctor (I hate filling out those darn forms).  Without her I’d have no faith in me, I’d doubt myself at every turn but her support and sometimes stern reminder to shut-up keeps me going.  Due to my job we don’t get a lot of alone time or little dates except for a quick hour lunch break on Tuesdays.  There are no kids and often times we go to the same restaurant but I don’t care what food I’m eating because I’m really just happy that for a few minutes we get to hang out.

                Kelly you are my rock.  You are my inspiration.  You’re my BFF and life would just not be as fun if you weren’t in it.  So thank you dear for these years.  Thank you for your support, your love and your devotion.  Thank you for the countless sacrifices you’ve made for me and for our family.  Thank you for always being there with a shoulder to cry on, a stern word to keep me in line, and kind words to keep me motivated.   Thank you for an awesome 20 years.  I love you. 

Ch...Ch...Ch...Changes!

                They say that change is good and I agree but it’s also a bit scary.  No, I take that back it’s seriously scary but it’s also invigorating.  It can give us a new perspective on the same ol’ life.  It can stretch our safety zone and mold us into a new, and hopefully, better person.  Last week I spoke of standing on the precipice and looking out over the possibilities.  Today, I am still on that precipice but I have a more focused view of one particular area and a strong desire to head in that direction. 

                So, as some of you know, I tried for a promotion but fell just a tad short.  I didn’t fall short because of anything I did or didn’t do.  It was a good decision by management because the person who did get the promotion has been doing the work of said position on an interim basis for around a year.  It would have been highly unfair to promote me over her and would’ve probably caused all kinds of unhappy feelings with the staff.  It would’ve been a difficult position to come into and be successful with those kind of ill feelings.   I did, however, get a very nice consolation prize in a transfer that I requested about a month ago.  Not only did I get the transfer but the area manager was so impressed with my interview that he came to me and asked if I was interested and I will essentially get my own little area within the district.  It’s pretty much everything I asked for and wanted.  I’ve heard nothing but good things about my new supervisor and am looking forward to getting to work with her.

                So in a month or two (we need to fill my position and another in my current location before I can move) I will be working out of an entirely new area.  There are down sides but what job doesn’t have a few of those?  There will be a longer drive and more gas and no raise.  I’ll be working up at around 5500 feet so there will be snow in the winter and the drive will be a bit treacherous.  I will need to spend some money on garments that can be worn under the uniform to stay warm and there will be a host of duties that others have done for me (because it’s their job) that I will now have to complete.  It’ll mean I’m going to find myself in some pretty uncomfortable positions but I’ve found that those positions really mold you into a new person and then really breaks the mold.  It is a supremely uncomfortable position to be in…standing there not knowing exactly what to do with a bunch of people standing around expecting you to know what to do and then to do it…but I have found over the last six years that I like it…or at least respond in a positive manner most times. 

                Of course there will also be really awesome things as well, a longer drive, working in the snow, new gear, new things to learn and new people to meet.  It’ll be sort of like hitting the reset button and that is a very nice and fun thing to get to do every now and again.

                So this summer dawned with some stress and some changes that the family had to endure and work through.  It was a bit bumpy but we managed and have come through it stronger.  As summer ends we’ll be going through more changes and we’ll be stronger for it.  I think my work hours in the winter might be a bit more reasonable and while I’ll still have to work weekends I might be able to enjoy the holidays a bit more and I may actually get to be home in the evenings on a more regular basis which will be worth the drive and the gas all by itself.  I’d like to take this opportunity to thank my wife for her support and encouragement in this and all of the endeavors I’ve pursued over the years.  She takes the brunt of these kinds of things and she does so with a smile, most of the time, because she knows it’s what I want.  So here’s to new adventures and expanding the mind!

Gettin' my geek on at Wondercon...

                I love comic books!



Emperor's Royal Guard



                That probably comes as no surprise to those who know me but to those who don’t I’ll give a brief background.  I’ve been collecting comics in some form or another since I was about 8 or 9 (that’s around 1982 or so for those of you keeping track) and trading GI-Joe issue #25 (along with a gazillion other comic books) back and forth with my best friend on the front porch of his house.  Back then we were quite upset when the books went from sixty-five cents to seventy-five cents.  Comic books were my gateway drug to the science fiction and fantasy books I took up in my late teens and continue to worship at the age of 39.  There was maybe a year or two around 18 that I stopped but it wasn’t all that long of a period of time.  I read them, I read about them and I listen to podcasts about what’s going on in the industry.  I’m hooked. 

                Over the years I’ve gone to about seven comic-cons in San Diego.  (Once I went to a Star Trek convention but that’s another story for another blog post) Back in the 90’s the San Diego comic-con was a fairly humble affair but really fun with great deals to be had and new products to ogle.  Slowly it has gotten to the version we have now; a large four day orgy of pop culture.  I took the family two years ago and while it was fun and filled with eye-candy galore it was PACKED!!!!  The San Diego International Comic Convention has reached epic proportions, which is cool for the industry and awesome if you have the time and patience for it.  I have neither. 

                So along came a new year and a growing desire to check out a comic-con.  I didn’t really care if it was San Diego or not.  I just wanted to attend one.  I did a little research and came up with Wondercon 2012.  The Wondercon is a yearly affair but usually held up in San Francisco.  Due to some construction on the hotel it’s usually held at they decided to move it down here.  (According to rumors running rampant there is a more sinister reason for the move but I won’t go into that here) For twenty dollars a single adult could go. (kids under 12 are free which as a father of three I think is just awesome…great way to take a relatively inexpensive family day)  So we got two tickets and the time off and prepped to venture out into the unknown.



Our Badges and Lanyards!



                The con ended up being on the one weekend this winter that Southern California has had a ‘real’ storm.  It rained, and it rained hard and, though the walk from the car to the convention hall was relatively short, we got soaked!  All was not lost as the kid’s flagging enthusiasm regained momentum at the sight of about a dozen stormtroopers in full regalia just inside the convention doors.  I believe I read they are from the 501^st but don’t quote me.  Whoever they were the costumes were simply awesome.  There was also a volleyball tournament and a cheerleading competition going.  It was quite the site to see all of these people mixing in the foyer.  Cheerleaders sharing a hallway with geeks made for some pretty hilarious looks.  The Geeks seemed shy and unsure how to look at cheerleaders and cheerleaders looking at the cos-players (people who wear costumes of their favorite heroes/heroines) as if they had some sort of skin disease.    



Bumblebee & Optimus Prime anyone?





Blair Butler from G4



                We got our badges and headed into the Con and let me tell you, I was excited.  The best part of the day?  The convention didn’t let me down.  To be honest it was pretty much perfect.  I’d have liked to see a few more of the comic companies there with slightly bigger displays but everything I wanted was there.  We had stars (I saw Blair Butler, Kevin Pereira, Jim Lee & a host of lesser known comic book artists), we had cool cosplayers (I already mentioned the 501^st but there were also some other really awesome costumes like the Baroness, Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, and Han Solo), and there were the deals.  It was nigh on perfect.  It really took me back to some of my first San Diego cons where the aisles weren’t totally packed and the dealers were friendly.  Artists were smiling and generally everyone seemed to be having fun. 



                I have to admit I’m a little bummed that this is a one-time deal because if it wasn’t I’d already be planning my trip for next year with an extra day to attend so I could go by myself one day and really get into the artist alley.  With the kids it was a little difficult to do much more than skim the surface which was fun, but getting deeper and chatting with some of them would’ve been the icing on the cake.  There were also a bunch of panels that I just couldn’t get to because the kids would not have wanted to sit still that long. 


                In the end though the Twins had a blast and I think even the Five year old enjoyed himself.  My wife is always supportive of my comic book love and I think she too had a great time.  She doesn’t read the comic books but we’ve been married for nearly 19 years and she’s picked up a nugget of information from me over the years.  All in all Wondercon 2012 was a roaring success from this comic book loving fathers point of view.



A very cool nearly life size Hulk sculpture from Gentgiant Studios



Some replica props from the upcoming Avenger movie.



A very cool Shadow Trooper from 501st



Zantana (Zartan's Sister), The Baronness, & a Cobra Soldier (I think they might've been looking for the Joes)



The Odds and Ends...or Sunday of Sniffles.

               Today is a beautiful day and I’m sitting here enjoying it through open blinds.  I would’ve liked to have gone for a ride today but instead I’m sitting here sniffling my way through my Sunday.  I feel better than I have in the last four days but still not great.  I wasn’t even up to writing yesterday.  I did get some editing done though so it wasn’t a complete loss.  The sun is shining and there is almost no wind it’d be a great day to be turning the pedals over.  I’d just like to stop feeling bad, this battle with my nose is getting old and I know if I go and ride I’ll regret it.  So it is with a little sadness that I sit down to write this.  I’m not in an overly creative mood so this won’t even be all that long…but I’m hoping there will be pictures. 

                I am working on kind of a cool blog post for Monday though.  I’m working on my third revision and getting my editor (okay she’s also my wife) to go over it so that I can almost look as if I know how to write English.  I only have two words for you; ‘Stupid Commas’ I hate the little bastards and yet I know they’re very important to the whole ‘making sense’ side of writing.  I probably should’ve paid more attention in that 11^th grade English class and a little less time writing Star Trek fan fiction. 

                I had another idea drop into my head last night and I’m obsessing over it a little too much so I’m probably going to start something on that now.  I’d like to get published and I realize it’s going to be fairly difficult with a full novel length manuscript so I’m trying to get away from thinking all Epic like and instead concentrating on a smaller chunk of time/space to work through so as to create a short-story.  There are a dozen or more little e-zines that I might be able to submit to.  One of them might/possibly/maybe will publish it.  First though I’ll be sure to jot some notes down so I don’t get distracted and lose the nugget of an idea my Muse tossed my way.  She gets quite irritated with me when I do that.  Or maybe it's just my inner child doing his utmost best to distract me from the slightly muddled mess my second manuscript has become.  I'm gonna have to break out the machette on that sucker and cut away some major chunks to get it back on track.

                So without further ado we go to The Pictures.  Enjoy and watch out Monday for something a little different. 



And this is where it all happens...not that pretty but it is fairly functional



And this, dear followers, is a picture of The Manuscript!



Goals, goals...the magical fruit....

                Goals, we all have them.  These little gems are the alleged back bone of a successful life.  We build our futures one goal at a time.  Is your goal to big?  No problem we can just break them up into smaller more time sensitive ones.  We even spend agonizing hours thinking about them while hunched around the almighty Facebook (or Twitter…or both for all of us truly addicted simpletons) typing our little selves into a corner with our new year’s resolutions.  There is even a tiny sub-genre of book authors who devote oodles of time to helping you, yes you, come up with these little ditties.  Each year we declare our intention to achieve and each year we fail at a few of them.  We are the masters of aggressive mediocrity by hitting a .300 average when it comes to meeting our goals.  One has to wonder, do they really matter?

                 Despite what it sounds like I’m not really bashing on them because they do actually work.  I just question whether they are the Holy Grail we’d like them to be.  I wanted to ride 1500 miles last year and I declared this to everyone who mattered.  My sister-in-law challenged me and together we set out to hit our goal and we did.  (She kicked my butt by hitting 2011 miles while I topped out at 1800.)  When I hit the fifteen hundred mile mark I did it on a ride that destroyed my bike.  (I mean this literally).  The bike was so tweaked there was no riding it ever again. Topping that off was the fact that it was a ride that I didn’t even finish.  Yet, I’d hit the magic 1500.  I should’ve been happy, elated even.  I should’ve danced a jig and thrown my arms up to the heavens.  I didn’t.  Only a few knew I’d done it and even fewer cared.   I wasn’t stronger or faster and I certainly hadn’t morphed into Lance 2.0.

What did I expect to happen exactly?

I’m not really sure to be honest.  Do we ride all year, strive to get out and hit the pavement as often as possible (with the rubber side down of course) and rack up the miles no matter what?  To what end?  To see the numbers pile up on an excel spread sheet?  (It is pretty cool though)   Some people focus on a race or a series of races.  Do they magically change with success or is it simply enough for them to ‘Do It’?  I wish I knew because as I stare at the pile of pages in front of me and realize that the goal to finish a manuscript of novel length is gone like a great puff of smoke I’m sort of left with the eternal question, ‘What now?’  Certainly it’s not going to get published simply because I wrote it.  (I’ve got a pretty big ego but it’s not that inflated)  Sure it’s an achievement not everyone can claim and yes I agree it is a start.  Many people say they’re going to write a novel and never even get this far.  But now what?  Editing?  (I’ve already started) A new goal maybe?   

Or perhaps it is the journey that is the important factor.  It’s not the goal as so many self-help Yoda’s would like us to think it is.  It’s not the perfect body at the end of six weeks or after a week of the latest vegetable cleanse.  Maybe it’s the journey that gets us to the goal that is important.  The goal isn’t the life changing moment but the journey that gets us to it.  Was it the 1500 mile mark or the many rides it took to get there, good and bad, that were important?  Not too many parents look at their kids and think ‘Just wait till they get to eighteen and then we’re done.’  (Although I’m sure when I was sixteen that thought floated around the evening dinner conversation on more than one occasion) For me it’s the journey to eighteen for my kids.  The years, month and days that it takes to get to eighteen is the important part.  This is even more important when like me you have an unconventional schedule where I’m little more than a part-time Dad for much of the time.

 
As I begin working on writing as something a little more than a hobby, goals will be made almost by default.   I will probably even strive to hit my riding/writing goals this year. I’ll get the ‘Project that can’t be named’ edited and maybe even a second draft completed.  I think though that I, along with many others, have to stop putting so much stock into our goals.  They are important to have but they are not the greener grass on the other side of the fence.   We don’t magically change simply because we attain them.  We need to remember to focus on the journey that gets us to a completed goal.  Goals are important for sure but we need to keep our selves focused on what they really mean.  The goal should not be the end all and be all of our existence so that when we attain it we end up with a letdown and then the dreaded stagnation because the heavens didn’t open up and the angels remained mute.   As with all things goals and our striving to attain them must be tempered with moderation.  Don’t give up though it’s not all bad.  Continuing the earlier baseball metaphor, we need to keep stepping up to the plate, keep swinging that bat for better or for worse because once every now and again we’ll smack a deep fly ball that just squeaks over the center field wall, just don’t forget to enjoy the sound of the crowd going nuts and the feel of the bases under your cleat.  The home run will just get added to the stat line but the experience is the thing that we’ll take with us when we can’t play anymore.