Life has an interesting way of really taking some left turns when you least expect it. I start things and it seems like I can’t stick with them. Sometimes I really wish I could just like one or two things and just stick with those things. Forever! When I sit back and look at all of the things I get enjoyment out of the list seems pretty exhausting…and expensive, just ask my wife. Let’s see, there is riding, running, hiking, backpacking, camping, writing, guitar (or music in general), reading (books, magazines, comicbooks, graphic novels…you name it and I’ll probably read it), and photography just to name the ones that popped right into my mind. What I’d like to know is why I can’t stick with them for the long haul or eliminate one or two altogether?
At the beginning of the year I was pretty gung-ho about writing and in fact from a writing stand point it was the most productive time of writing in my life but as with all things I found other things to interest me. For a few months I kept a pretty good balance between the family, writing, and exercising. April thru July was probably one of the best four months in a decade for me. I was writing good stuff and getting it ‘out there’. I lost about twenty-five pounds and just plain felt good. In and around all of that I manufactured a pretty awesome move at work and advanced my career in a way I’m pretty downright proud of.
Slowly and almost without warning things slowly began to unravel. My blog posts died a slow death and since August 16th I’ve not posted a darn thing, lapsing into the typical Dead Blog syndrome. I’ve gone from four work outs a week to maybe two a week. I dropped soda and was very proud of it, but over the last few weeks I’ve had first one and then two until at one point last week I had four soda’s from fast food joints in two days!!! (I even re-filled my soda last night at the Pizza joint) I haven’t been on the bike in 3 weeks. (My work outs have mostly been runs)
I’m not a man who can easily wait for stuff. It just isn’t something I’m not good at. It’s something I’ve struggled with all my life. I also can’t just enjoy the thing I have now. I’m always ‘Looking to the future, to the past, never his mind on where he is, what he is doing.’ (that’s a paraphrase on a Yoda quote.) My job advancement has made me wait. I’ve been waiting for nearly four months for it to happen. I knew it was coming but I’ve had to wait for all of the moves that needed to be made to be made. It’s been draining because for a long time at the beginning all I could do was day dream about the whole thing and I think it just totally tore me down mentally. We could probably throw around the term depression pretty easily regarding the last few months. So the other stuff. The stuff that I need energy for and desire for have wavered and faltered.
I finally have a light at the end of the tunnel, however, and in roughly four weeks my plans and desires will see fruition for better or for worse. I’m feeling a little lightness around the edges of my mind. I’m on vacation as I type this and I’m hoping the 9 days off (now 8 days) will renew my spirit a bit and I can soldier on through the last three weeks in my current spot. Now I’m hoping I can return to my former ways. I’m hoping I can pick-up the scattered pieces of my hobbies and put them back together and continue on. I’m hoping to take a few minutes to examine these pieces and pick out the good ones and maybe toss aside the bad ones. The good news….I’ve really only gained about a pound through all of this so far. I’ve not totally thrown away a healthy diet, just yet. With the changes will come new hours and new schedules. (sorry mom I’m still working weekends) and that will create new challenges that I’ve not had to face in many many years. This will cause a new stress but it’ll be a new stress that I think I’ll be okay with.
I’m hoping that means you’ll be seeing a bit more of me here on the blog with stories about my adventures and thoughts. I’ve re-embraced my passion for photography so perhaps we’ll be seeing a few more posts with pictures. And a nice conversation with a published author on twitter the other day has stoked my passion to write. Not sure I’ve got any new and wonderful ideas for stories per se but it did spark this here confession….errr…post. (Hope you enjoyed it). So without further ado I bid thee farewell but only until we meet again, which I hope will be soon.