May the Fourth Be With You...Always.

The comic book that fueled my love of all things Star Wars
 

          Today is Star Wars day and it’s made look back several times over my thirty-three years or so of loving all things Star Wars.  I was too young to remember A New Hope, I was just four years old after all.  The Empire Strikes Back, though, now that movie I remember.  I know my Aunt took me to the movie but I don’t remember a whole lot of the movie itself.  She says I went to the bathroom a lot but I honestly don’t remember it much.  I have a vague recollection of Hoth but that’s about it from that experience.  What got me hooked, and I mean really hooked was a copy of the second edition of Marvel’s comic book adaptation of the same movie.  It was slightly larger than a normal comic and the colors were very stark but that book is what opened up my mind and my world to all that was Star Wars.  I had some toys before that too, the Death Star play set figures prominently in my memories as does the Falcon playset but that comic was my ‘gateway to geekdom’. (Geekgate?  Gateway Geek?)

                I’m not exactly sure what about the series that hooked me so completely and continues to hook me even now as an adult.  Maybe because it had it all; swords, action, flying ships, guns, and rogues just to name a few things!? My seven year old brain sucked it all up and from then on my world was set.  It was my Errol Flynn, my Three Musketeers, Zorro, and Lone Ranger all wrapped

Oh Yeah!! The Death Star!!

into three movies.  It scared me (that Wompa was not a nice creature) and in the beginning I wasn’t even too sure of Darth Vader.  My view on what a hero should be as an adult is modeled entirely on Han Solo, a bad guy just isn’t really a bad guy unless they can top Vader and Palpatine.  I suppose I was the perfect age for it but whatever it was I was in!! 

                As I’ve aged I’ve always been fearful the movies would age or wouldn’t hold up to my adult scrutiny but they haven’t.  They’ve grown more fun to watch especially as I share them with my sons (my daughters too but they won’t admit it publicly that they like the movies but I know they do...they do I tell you!!).  The prequels had their issues sure and didn’t even come close to matching the majesty of the original three (especially episode V) but they were Star Wars through and through.  They had swords, guns, romance, ships, and awesome bad guys just like the originals.  They stoked the Star Wars flames of my soul.  They made me feel like a kid again and stoked the imagination.  They took me back to hours spent playing with the toys or just imagining I was the one fighting Darth Vader instead of Luke.  They took me back to time spent pouring over fan-fiction before fan-fiction was even a thing.  I spent hours making up distant relatives of Solo and writing about those adventures. 

Fan-Made Episode VII poster
 

                As we slowly march our way through 2014 and into 2015 there is the promise of more Star Wars goodness.  I’ve seen the original cast is returning and that’s simply awesome.  The fans out there in the internet may not like it and throw down all of their negative fan hate that could only exist in the anonymous world of the internet but I’m pretty sure when those opening credits pop on the screen and the words begin their long scroll up the screen that I’ll be in my seat grinning like a loon, my inner seven year old squealing in absolute joy.  Whatever intangible thing it was that hooked me on this universe all those years ago, I am very grateful it was there.  Star Wars has made me a happy child, a happy boy, and a happy adult repeatedly over the years and I can’t imagine a world without being able to sit down and watch one of the movies, or quote a line at my wife, or have my mom throw out a line from Yoda or discuss the finer points with my wife and best friend. (or...shhh...beating my wife at Star Wars trivial pursuit!!! muhahahah)  Thank you George Lucas for being as influential on my life as much and probably more than any teacher ever was.  Long Live Star Wars, and May the Fourth Be With You!!

Get some balance...

                I will bring balance to the Force.

                Well maybe not the Force or the world but I will bring some semblance of balance to my life.  It would seem that at some point during the endless battle against the fates I get sucked into this all or nothing mentality.  I obsess over an item, a hobby, a change and it sucks me in and absorbs every last bit of my attention.  This usually means that for a month or so I am going to change the world!  Then I get stagnant, I get burnt out and my attention is absorbed my some other golden trinket lying around.  I totally Homer Simpson it.

                I’ve done this with riding in the past, I’ve done it with my iPad, I’ve done this with the laptop I’m typing on now.  Yes, I’ve done it with my writing and I truly believe that this inability to ‘Bring Balance to the Force’ is why I have, for the most part, failed at most major under takings in my constant sludge through this knee deep pool of poo I call a life.  I do believe that my Midichlorian count is too low to become a true master at all.  Of course this won’t stop me from banging my head against a wall.  What is that saying Yoda likes to hurl at us padawans?  “Do or do not, there is no try.” Yep that’s the one.  I really hate quitting but I’m pretty good at putting it off.  So I get the ‘do’ part just fine I just may not ‘Do’ things in a time frame the little green Muppet is happy with.

                All kidding aside the other day I realized that I had spent several hours sitting at the desk staring at a computer screen, angered by a change at work and pissed off that I had chosen that same time to try and jump start some half hopeless attempt at a writing career.  I was depressed, mad, and generally just a complete crab-apple.  I needed a change.  I think we all do when we get to that stage in life when our mundane little existence no matter how much fun it is just becomes tedious.   I’ve noticed that a lot of the authors and mtn bikers I follow who started out doing it all as a hobby and then try to push it into something more become somewhat disenfranchised about their chosen hobby/activity the more that activity/hobby becomes job like in nature.  Those who are dedicated trainers know this and do things to break up the monotony.  They run, they plan a huge mtn biking trip to some far away land, they go snowboarding.  Anything to break the crap up. 

                I keep my road bike in my office where I can drool over its sleek carbon fiber lines.  (I have another free wall and the thought of also storing my mtn bike in the office is never far from my mind…it looks so sad out there in the garage.)  I kept staring at it and coming up with one excuse or another to not ride it.  You see a month ago I’d burnt out on the riding thang too.   So there I was burnt out on the two things that keep me motivated and depressed about changes at work that were entirely outside of my control.  I woke up on a Thursday to a whining daughter who wanted to be driven to her friends house so they could walk to school together.  Since I am such a cool Dad I finally agreed and was up earlier than normal.  My road bike was gently calling my name each time I passed her.  She wanted to stretch her legs….and to be honest so did I.  With only minutes to spare I scrambled to get my gear together (thank you Mom for that whole…’a place for everything, and everything in its place’ mantra you drilled into me) and we were out the door only 1 minute late. 

                I won’t bore you with the details of the ride (80 minutes, 19.34 miles, 978 ft of elevation change…ok so I will afterall) but suffice it to say that although I didn’t push myself I had a blast and some of the depression and burn out was lifted.  I rode down a few roads I don’t normally hit and enjoyed a beautiful SoCal spring morning.  (Anyone know where DeLuz road behind Murrieta goes?)   It’s amazing how a little change to a morning routine can alter your perceptions of the world around you.  Change (like at work) can be scary but they can also be good for you.  We should never do that thing we love to the point of burn out.  We can push ourselves to get out of that safe zone but we should also make sure to mix it up.  I know that starting now I will make sure to make time for riding so that I don’t let myself down with my yearly goals but also so that the Muse gets a break from constantly staring at the monitor.  The Muse won’t grow unless it’s taken out and given a walk.  Let it play in the fields and while you may have lost a few hours of writing time you may have gained a whole day of free thinking.  As I said on Facebook that morning after the ride, “It’s amazing how mixing up the daily routine a little can bring balance to the force….er life.”  Now what are you waiting for?  Get out there and Git Sum!!!!  Happy Spring.

Gettin' my geek on at Wondercon...

                I love comic books!



Emperor's Royal Guard



                That probably comes as no surprise to those who know me but to those who don’t I’ll give a brief background.  I’ve been collecting comics in some form or another since I was about 8 or 9 (that’s around 1982 or so for those of you keeping track) and trading GI-Joe issue #25 (along with a gazillion other comic books) back and forth with my best friend on the front porch of his house.  Back then we were quite upset when the books went from sixty-five cents to seventy-five cents.  Comic books were my gateway drug to the science fiction and fantasy books I took up in my late teens and continue to worship at the age of 39.  There was maybe a year or two around 18 that I stopped but it wasn’t all that long of a period of time.  I read them, I read about them and I listen to podcasts about what’s going on in the industry.  I’m hooked. 

                Over the years I’ve gone to about seven comic-cons in San Diego.  (Once I went to a Star Trek convention but that’s another story for another blog post) Back in the 90’s the San Diego comic-con was a fairly humble affair but really fun with great deals to be had and new products to ogle.  Slowly it has gotten to the version we have now; a large four day orgy of pop culture.  I took the family two years ago and while it was fun and filled with eye-candy galore it was PACKED!!!!  The San Diego International Comic Convention has reached epic proportions, which is cool for the industry and awesome if you have the time and patience for it.  I have neither. 

                So along came a new year and a growing desire to check out a comic-con.  I didn’t really care if it was San Diego or not.  I just wanted to attend one.  I did a little research and came up with Wondercon 2012.  The Wondercon is a yearly affair but usually held up in San Francisco.  Due to some construction on the hotel it’s usually held at they decided to move it down here.  (According to rumors running rampant there is a more sinister reason for the move but I won’t go into that here) For twenty dollars a single adult could go. (kids under 12 are free which as a father of three I think is just awesome…great way to take a relatively inexpensive family day)  So we got two tickets and the time off and prepped to venture out into the unknown.



Our Badges and Lanyards!



                The con ended up being on the one weekend this winter that Southern California has had a ‘real’ storm.  It rained, and it rained hard and, though the walk from the car to the convention hall was relatively short, we got soaked!  All was not lost as the kid’s flagging enthusiasm regained momentum at the sight of about a dozen stormtroopers in full regalia just inside the convention doors.  I believe I read they are from the 501^st but don’t quote me.  Whoever they were the costumes were simply awesome.  There was also a volleyball tournament and a cheerleading competition going.  It was quite the site to see all of these people mixing in the foyer.  Cheerleaders sharing a hallway with geeks made for some pretty hilarious looks.  The Geeks seemed shy and unsure how to look at cheerleaders and cheerleaders looking at the cos-players (people who wear costumes of their favorite heroes/heroines) as if they had some sort of skin disease.    



Bumblebee & Optimus Prime anyone?





Blair Butler from G4



                We got our badges and headed into the Con and let me tell you, I was excited.  The best part of the day?  The convention didn’t let me down.  To be honest it was pretty much perfect.  I’d have liked to see a few more of the comic companies there with slightly bigger displays but everything I wanted was there.  We had stars (I saw Blair Butler, Kevin Pereira, Jim Lee & a host of lesser known comic book artists), we had cool cosplayers (I already mentioned the 501^st but there were also some other really awesome costumes like the Baroness, Bumblebee, Optimus Prime, and Han Solo), and there were the deals.  It was nigh on perfect.  It really took me back to some of my first San Diego cons where the aisles weren’t totally packed and the dealers were friendly.  Artists were smiling and generally everyone seemed to be having fun. 



                I have to admit I’m a little bummed that this is a one-time deal because if it wasn’t I’d already be planning my trip for next year with an extra day to attend so I could go by myself one day and really get into the artist alley.  With the kids it was a little difficult to do much more than skim the surface which was fun, but getting deeper and chatting with some of them would’ve been the icing on the cake.  There were also a bunch of panels that I just couldn’t get to because the kids would not have wanted to sit still that long. 


                In the end though the Twins had a blast and I think even the Five year old enjoyed himself.  My wife is always supportive of my comic book love and I think she too had a great time.  She doesn’t read the comic books but we’ve been married for nearly 19 years and she’s picked up a nugget of information from me over the years.  All in all Wondercon 2012 was a roaring success from this comic book loving fathers point of view.



A very cool nearly life size Hulk sculpture from Gentgiant Studios



Some replica props from the upcoming Avenger movie.



A very cool Shadow Trooper from 501st



Zantana (Zartan's Sister), The Baronness, & a Cobra Soldier (I think they might've been looking for the Joes)



...Beginnings...

              The beginning is an interesting idea.  In life we experience all kind of beginnings from the start of a new TV show to the start of new relationships and beyond.  These beginnings can be momentous occasions (think weddings or births) or more often they simple occur, we acknowledge them and then move on.  In today’s fast food society our beginnings are even more glossed over so that we can get on with things.  Beginnings are not always good….think the first season of Star Trek: The Next Generation or if you’re really honest with yourself Star Wars Episode IV (the scene between Leia and Solo after they escape the Death Star is nothing short of horrible.).  Beginnings are even worse when you try to force them (think Star Wars Episode I or the first Hulk movie). 

                So, ‘why are you writing this’, you ask?  Well I’ll tell you why.

                I’ve started writing so many times in my life that I’ve begun to just think each attempt will lead to the dead end it usually does.  I feel this so deeply that this last time I almost didn’t even bother to start.  In the past I’ve had entire rooms dedicate to my love of all things creative and still I haven’t really ever finished anything.  This time around I had to really examine what it was that I was doing.  Why have I started and stopped so often?  Why this sense of need when it comes to writing?  This all made me think of beginnings.  I’m a professional Beginner!!

                My beginning in the ‘world’ of writing came so long ago I can hardly remember it.  Through the foggy shrouds of my mind I can see myself imagining my room as the Millennium Falcon and I, some distant relative of Han Solo (usually Flynn Solo in my homage to Tron and Star Wars in one great sweep of the imaginary arm) would be out running the galaxy like some sort of ultra-cool Freighter Jock.  My desk the command console, my bed the engine compartment I was always climbing in and fixing (it’s a wonder I didn’t become a mechanic with all of the ‘fixing’ I did on that ship)

                I was nine at the time or thereabouts.

                Then I got older and it wasn’t so cool to actually be jumping off my bed and running through the house fighting Darth Vader or Cylons at every turn (I was an equal opportunity bad guy kicker…if it was a bad guy and it was in a comic book or cool movie I would fight it).  Even though it was no longer cool and I couldn’t talk to a girl about it without her looking at me like I had mutant zit on my forehead, the stories and the ideas and the desire never left me.  I had all of these ideas and characters in my head and slowly they evolved into semi-original characters and they talked to me and I’d stay up late into the night ‘developing’.  I still needed that outlet, writing was to a certain point, me ‘self-medicating’.  So at some point in middle school I started to try and write in order to get the stories out of my head.  Those were REALLY bad.

                Fast forward to my junior year in high school (or maybe it was my senior year...they all run together now-a-days) and my English class with Mr. Jones (I’m pretty sure that was his name but don’t quote me on that.) and his journal project he made us do.  He gave us topics but he also gave us some ‘just write’ options too.  Most of the time I totally ignored the writing prompts and spent most of the year writing about Flynn or some crew I made up for some starship in the Star Trek universe (yep I ‘was’ a nerd/geek to the core.) To his credit he never commented and let me write.  I remember more than a few classes that I just wrote for the entire hour and didn’t hear a single thing he said in class.  I think this was the ‘beginning’ for me.  I wish I had had the drive and tenacity to follow my heart then but alas drive and tenacity are two traits that cannot be applied to me….ever!

                So here I am age 39 and still just beginning.  I’ve started and stopped so often I probably need a refill on brake fluid.  I’m much better at stopping than going.  It’s much easier to stop when the going gets tough or the requirements of the pursuit of a goal are just too hard.   The ideas are still there...All.  The.  Time. And sometimes they don’t leave me alone.  I’m hoping I might be able to overcome it on this fiftieth or so go around. 

                In 2009 I got close.  I finished a project.  We’ll call it Project X-1.  Its 198 pages and a completed story from beginning to end, there’s even a middle.  I got the inspiration to write a complete story from reading the book ‘No Plot? No Problem!’ by Chris Baty.  Mr. Baty founded the National Novel Writing Month thingy.  This little gem of an idea has thousands of authors setting aside November each year to write a 50,000 word novel.  I read the book in June and spent most of July doing just that.  I finished the story and promptly ran out of ideas.  I let the manuscript languish in obscurity on two laptops and several memory sticks.  We moved, I lost my ‘office’ and hardly wrote anything for two and half years.  I had a few ideas; I tried to put them down on computer and failed.  Let’s just say I have A LOT of one and two page story starts on my laptops and iPad. 

                Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about things that are lost to me.  I wanted to be an Architect and that’s pretty much a lost dream.  I’m too old to be a firefighter or a cop or heck even a soldier.  (not that I wanted to be any of those but the idea that I’m too old to do them made my heart sad)  So a few weeks ago I realized I needed to put together a small office.  A place of refuge I could ‘work’ in, I’m really not wanting the idea that I could be an author to be one of those ‘I wish I did that’ moments.  I don’t even need to be a successful author, I’d just like to put out a novel, have a few people buy it and maybe even one of them say ‘That wasn’t bad.’ (I embrace the idea of Aggressive Mediocrity) I cobbled some things together and viola I have myself an office….and you know what I’m writing again….and the stuff isn’t bad.  It’s not great by any stretch of the imagination but its making me happy and content with the effort.  I printed out Project X-1 and had it spiral bound at Staples with the idea of beginning to try and edit it.  I’ve even been slightly sorta successful at doing that. 

                And that is how the idea of Beginnings came to mind.  I think it’s time to move past the beginning and get firmly entrenched in the middle.  Let myself write the tidal wave of the middle for a while because you know what……..the ending is coming on way more quickly than I’d like it to.