4 steps to making a life change stick...

                 Everyone would like to be better, thinner, faster, stronger, or some other thing that is personal to them.  For me I’d like to be pretty much all of the above.  Some might focus on one particular want such as being able to stand on top of the podium at their next race, or to have a personal record (PR) at their next half-marathon.  Whatever ‘it’ is we are always striving to get ‘there’.  Some of the stronger personalities out there are successful but most of us ‘normal’ people struggle forward in fits and sputtering starts that never get past the first hurdle.  We may know what we want, we may even know how to get to that point but we get tripped up by some person/place/thing that halts us in our tracks and we retreat to that oh-so-comfortable couch we know and love.  I think we tend to retreat to the couches of our lives to quickly.  I think the following four steps will help those of you who keep getting caught up by that ‘something’ in your life.  I know for me that once I decided to complete 1000 riding miles in a year these were the steps that helped me.

1.)    Visualization:

See yourself doing it.  Seriously, this works.  In a few months we’ll be getting the opportunity to watch some of the best athletes in the world compete for their countries.  Watch these athletes as they sit and prepare for their specific event.  They are seeing themselves running that lap, completing that jump, or running the course.  They are seeing themselves as the successes they are.  Look in the mirror and see yourself as the skinny individual you want to be.  Visualize yourself making the meals you should be eating.  See the success in your mind’s eye and it’ll slowly start to come to you.

2.)    Effort:

This sounds simple and in some aspects it is.  In order to ride 1000 miles, or run that 26.1 mile route you have to put in the effort.  Remember though that the effort has to start off within the parameters of your current abilities.  If you’ve never run you can’t expect to go out and run 5 miles in 30 minutes.  Be reasonable in your approach but you have to put out the effort.  Visualization is great but without the effort it’s just sitting on that couch day dreaming.  Start small, run ½ mile and walk a ½ mile that first time out.  You’ll feel great and you won’t be super sore the next day which means you’ll be hungry for more.  Maybe it’s some weight you’d like to lose.  Put in the effort by buying the healthy choice over the cookies.  Cut out one soda a day for a week and then go from there.  Effort, even in small steps,  is the key.

3.)    Consistency:

I can’t express how important this is.  It’s also my biggest general downfall when it comes to making a life-change stick.  We can visualize our success, we can start putting in the effort to obtain that end result we’ve been dying for but without consistency the first two will fail.  Last year I put in 1800 miles on the bike (chump change compared to some who will read this but it’s the best year on the bike ever for me) and the only way I did that was by throwing a leg over the bike as often as I could.  Find a routine that works for you and then stick with it.  In order to lose weight you must eat healthy on a consistent basis.  Six days out of seven you must put aside that soda and realize a large pizza isn’t for you.  You have to eat the right things or your life-change won’t stick.  Consistency is the “Location, Location, Location” of a life-change.  You have to find it, but the good news is that you can’t expect yourself to go from eating poorly 6 days a week to the opposite right off the bat.  That’d be like quitting cold turkey (mmm did someone say turkey) and we all know how successful that can be.  No, like with effort this must be ramped up slowly over time.  Start off running 3 days a week for a mile or two at a time (and half of that might be walking) then slowly walk less, increase the mileage and then increase the number of days you run.  Just make sure you keep it up each week, week in and week out.  It will become more habit like and then the consistency will be there.

4.)    Lifestyle:

This final ‘step’ will almost fall into place on its own.  As you put forth consistent effort your life will slowly change.  After several months of eating right those oreo’s won’t sound as appetizing (as a self-confessed Oreo addict I can attest to just how impossible that might sound but it’s true.  I promise)  Now that you have been running those miles you might’ve met a few other runners and maybe now’s the time to look into your first 5K race.  Your clothing won’t fit quite right because you’ve begun to lose the weight and as you replace clothes you’ll start to buy clothes more suitable for your chosen new lifestyle.  A rough day at the office?  You’ll naturally turn towards your next run/ride for the peace and tranquility the office didn’t provide.  You’ll become your ‘life-change’ and that’s probably the coolest thing that comes from choosing a different path in life.

                These steps are crucial to overall success when it comes to choosing to do/be something new.  I don’t believe it matters what that is either.  It could be a simple task like wanting to quilt more/bigger blankets.  It could be that you want to be better read.  In my case it’s generally been sports related (riding & running mostly) but I’ve also been using these steps as I work on my writing.  My lifestyle has altered slightly as I read a wider array of blogs and books to inform myself on the writing world.  I’ve put in the effort and I’ve gotten over 400 hits on my blog in a little over two months.  No one can write well if they don’t do it consistently.   

                There is a final item that isn’t really another step but it’s important not to include and that’s Reflection.  Reflection is a step that should be interspersed within the four steps.  It will allow you to sit back and look at what worked and what didn’t.  Maybe you tried a fourth day of riding in the week and you feel too sore, too tired, or for right now it’s just too much of a burden due to work/family needs.  That’s fine, back off and adjust.  Without taking the time to study that work-out journal,or listening to how the body feels you’ll never be able to make the many minor adjustments a ‘life-change’ requires of you as the weeks, months, and years pass by. 

                What’s your life-change?  How have you gone about getting it started?  Have you been successful?  Share your successes and failures (sometimes these are even more important than the successes) or ideas in the comments.  I look forward to hearing from you all and in the meantime go grab that bull by the horn and get to it, there’s no better day than today to make that life-change you’ve been putting off.

My 1st attempt at Flash Fiction

         Good morning, todays post will be a piece of flash fiction.  Flash Fiction is basically a short short story.  These stories are usually told in 1000 words or less and most often with around 500 words.  They’re created to show people that an author can strip away the ‘stuff’ and present a barebones story that still grips the reader.   Up until the other week I’d never tried it.  My stories tend to be more grandiose and epic in scale with lots of world building going on.  Strange new worlds and new civilizations, to boldly go, and that all that jazz.  The idea of stripping this away and giving the reader 500 words was…well…very foreign to me.  To be honest I’m not sure I succeeded.  Usually these pieces of flash fiction stem from a writing prompt of some sort.  Mine did not.  It was an idea that jumped into my head most rude like and sat there squatting on my turf for several days.  The idea didn’t do anything, didn’t even pay any rent the little bastard.  So I decided to send it on its way as a Flash Fiction piece.   I’m not sure if it’s as much as story as it is a scene.  I’ve almost not posted it twice now but today is the day.   According to the great Wayne Gretzky (an NHL icon of scoring for those non-sports types) “You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” so without further ado….here’s my shot may it be straight and accurate.

'The Voice in my Head'

                Pain radiates from my core outward, numbing my finger tips and twitching my limbs.

                My eyes, open, stare at nothing.  My world filled with shadows pulsing slowly in sync with the slow gentle beeping next to my head.  I try to look but can’t.

                My body’s numb, heavy.  I can’t move.  I try to call out.  Nothing but a raw gasping choke escapes parched lips.

                I don’t know how long I’ve been here but I know there are a hundred and twenty-nine black holes in the yellowed ceiling tile above me.  A hundred and nineteen in the one next to that.  Rorschach like water stains framing those tiny little holes.

                “Nathan can you hear me?”

                Yes.

                “Good.”

                The voice is gone.  I want it to come back.  I desperately need it to come back.  I experiment by moving my head slightly.  It moves.  I see the room, its yellowed walls closing in on me.  A monitor’s black face staring at me.   An antiseptic chemical stench fills my nose, stings my eyes.  I need to move but, my legs still won’t work.

Crusty eyes slowly open.  I can move.  Waves of joy crash over me.  Freedom.  Slowly I move an arm.  I curl swollen fingers.   It hurts.  Each little tendon curling and uncurling, bones and muscles working together.  It’s a small thing but, it’s a triumph.  

                I push cotton covers back.  I raise my hand to my eyes.  A metallic glove covers it but, it moves and there is a joy that overcomes caution.  Slowly swinging legs over the edge, I sit up.  I wear powder blue scrubs, long sleeved and dirty.  They stink.  I stand, something off, I feel heavier and slower than I should.  The room is featureless, no windows, the walls that same stained yellow.

                “It’s not time.”

                The voice again.  I try to spin around but fall to one knee.  No one’s there.  I try to speak, I open my mouth.  Nothing.  Why?

                Who are you?

                “It’s not time.”

                I stand on unsteady legs that don’t feel right.  My foot doesn’t look right but, my vision swims with the effort.  One stumbling step, then two.   Fire sears through my limbs.  I feel myself falling.  Hand snakes forward, grabbing a dresser.   Wood crumples beneath my grip.  I look down at the hand.  Not a glove.  Skin.  Not my own, larger and longer and silver.  I release the dresser like it’s on fire.  I turn it over and drink it in.  The ‘skin’ is tight, heavy, and metallic.  Then I focus beyond the hand.   A reflection in a mirror over the dresser.  I step towards it.  My mind screams.  Wide eyes stare back at me, eyes I knew once.  Eyes framed by a face I’ve not seen before; round features, silver skin.   What have they done to me?

                “We’ve made you better,” the voice says as if reading my mind, “We’ve brought you home.”

                I try to scream.  I see my mouth open.  Nothing comes out.  The world swims, tumbles and blackness.

Goals, goals...the magical fruit....

                Goals, we all have them.  These little gems are the alleged back bone of a successful life.  We build our futures one goal at a time.  Is your goal to big?  No problem we can just break them up into smaller more time sensitive ones.  We even spend agonizing hours thinking about them while hunched around the almighty Facebook (or Twitter…or both for all of us truly addicted simpletons) typing our little selves into a corner with our new year’s resolutions.  There is even a tiny sub-genre of book authors who devote oodles of time to helping you, yes you, come up with these little ditties.  Each year we declare our intention to achieve and each year we fail at a few of them.  We are the masters of aggressive mediocrity by hitting a .300 average when it comes to meeting our goals.  One has to wonder, do they really matter?

                 Despite what it sounds like I’m not really bashing on them because they do actually work.  I just question whether they are the Holy Grail we’d like them to be.  I wanted to ride 1500 miles last year and I declared this to everyone who mattered.  My sister-in-law challenged me and together we set out to hit our goal and we did.  (She kicked my butt by hitting 2011 miles while I topped out at 1800.)  When I hit the fifteen hundred mile mark I did it on a ride that destroyed my bike.  (I mean this literally).  The bike was so tweaked there was no riding it ever again. Topping that off was the fact that it was a ride that I didn’t even finish.  Yet, I’d hit the magic 1500.  I should’ve been happy, elated even.  I should’ve danced a jig and thrown my arms up to the heavens.  I didn’t.  Only a few knew I’d done it and even fewer cared.   I wasn’t stronger or faster and I certainly hadn’t morphed into Lance 2.0.

What did I expect to happen exactly?

I’m not really sure to be honest.  Do we ride all year, strive to get out and hit the pavement as often as possible (with the rubber side down of course) and rack up the miles no matter what?  To what end?  To see the numbers pile up on an excel spread sheet?  (It is pretty cool though)   Some people focus on a race or a series of races.  Do they magically change with success or is it simply enough for them to ‘Do It’?  I wish I knew because as I stare at the pile of pages in front of me and realize that the goal to finish a manuscript of novel length is gone like a great puff of smoke I’m sort of left with the eternal question, ‘What now?’  Certainly it’s not going to get published simply because I wrote it.  (I’ve got a pretty big ego but it’s not that inflated)  Sure it’s an achievement not everyone can claim and yes I agree it is a start.  Many people say they’re going to write a novel and never even get this far.  But now what?  Editing?  (I’ve already started) A new goal maybe?   

Or perhaps it is the journey that is the important factor.  It’s not the goal as so many self-help Yoda’s would like us to think it is.  It’s not the perfect body at the end of six weeks or after a week of the latest vegetable cleanse.  Maybe it’s the journey that gets us to the goal that is important.  The goal isn’t the life changing moment but the journey that gets us to it.  Was it the 1500 mile mark or the many rides it took to get there, good and bad, that were important?  Not too many parents look at their kids and think ‘Just wait till they get to eighteen and then we’re done.’  (Although I’m sure when I was sixteen that thought floated around the evening dinner conversation on more than one occasion) For me it’s the journey to eighteen for my kids.  The years, month and days that it takes to get to eighteen is the important part.  This is even more important when like me you have an unconventional schedule where I’m little more than a part-time Dad for much of the time.

 
As I begin working on writing as something a little more than a hobby, goals will be made almost by default.   I will probably even strive to hit my riding/writing goals this year. I’ll get the ‘Project that can’t be named’ edited and maybe even a second draft completed.  I think though that I, along with many others, have to stop putting so much stock into our goals.  They are important to have but they are not the greener grass on the other side of the fence.   We don’t magically change simply because we attain them.  We need to remember to focus on the journey that gets us to a completed goal.  Goals are important for sure but we need to keep our selves focused on what they really mean.  The goal should not be the end all and be all of our existence so that when we attain it we end up with a letdown and then the dreaded stagnation because the heavens didn’t open up and the angels remained mute.   As with all things goals and our striving to attain them must be tempered with moderation.  Don’t give up though it’s not all bad.  Continuing the earlier baseball metaphor, we need to keep stepping up to the plate, keep swinging that bat for better or for worse because once every now and again we’ll smack a deep fly ball that just squeaks over the center field wall, just don’t forget to enjoy the sound of the crowd going nuts and the feel of the bases under your cleat.  The home run will just get added to the stat line but the experience is the thing that we’ll take with us when we can’t play anymore.