Reflections...

                Tomorrow morning the kids start school.  I am somewhat at a loss regarding all of it.  Where did the summer go?  It started off so strong and has sort of fizzled out at the end.  They are ready, they’re bouncing off the walls and the twins at least are amped to be starting middle school.  Jackson is clueless to the woes that are about to assault him.  We’ve got the clothes shopping done, the shoes have been purchased and all the myriad of school supplies packed up.  All that’s left is to survive the nerves and inability to fall asleep tonight. 

                For me it’s a sad time.  It’s the ending of an era.  On Friday I took the twins to an orientation at their school and as I was dropping them off at the curb I noticed a strange mix of kids.  There were those, very much like the girls, who looked like they were just as ready for a fun time on the playground at recess and then there were those who looked like they were doing their best to bypass the whole middle school ‘experience’ and jump right into high school.  These kids were dressed in the latest fashion, with purses, fancy backpacks and cell phones to their ears.  It was then as I was driving away from the school that I realized by the middle of the school year my little girls will have been irreversibly altered.  It’s good for them, it’s even healthy…for the most part…but I’m not sure I’m quite ready for this.  They’ll survive.  We’ll survive, everyone does but I’m finding it very difficult to let my little girls go.  When I get them back next summer will they still be the same little girls?  Probably not and all I can do is pray that they haven’t changed so drastically that we won’t be able to hang out. 

                Lil J starts kindergarten tomorrow as well and I’m no less sad about this.  My little boy so full of wonder and with an imagination that rivals my own is about to be introduced to the System.  I think this will be less of culture shock for all involved in comparison to the Twins but I have to admit that I’m sort of suffering from a little empty nest syndrome.  The house is going to be empty.  There isn’t going to be anyone to play with or hang out with and I’m having a slightly difficult time with this.  Sure I’ll have time to work out and write a little more but darn it, who is going to help me grocery shop?  I’m not even going to have any reason to cruise through the toy section at Target.   

                I’m not really whining and I know there are positives as we travel forward as a family.  I just can’t help looking back on it all and feeling like we’re losing a little piece of ourselves.  Maybe it’s the innocence that’s being lost I’m not really sure but while I’m excited for all three of the kids I can’t help but feel a little sadness for us the parents as our children continue to grow.  So as this new weeks dawns upon us I’ll shed a little tear, raise my glass to a job well done by the whole family to get to this point and then step forward and embrace this new era with something between a smile and a grimace on my face.  Here’s to the future!